Category Archives: Humour

Descriptive writing is a trap and can drive the reader mad

By Bikram Vohra

Many of us want to be writers (poor and oppressed) and share our words with the world. Except that words are like insidious little landmines liable to blow up in your face. Most people write badly and that even includes some teachers of the English language. This is largely because they were taught bad habits by amateur teachers and parents and relatives when they were young, and the pastiche of tongues they created at home led to the wreckage.

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For the love of language, these are a few of my fave words

By Bikram Vohra

More people speak English in India than in any other country. We speak Dickensian English. We can chat in fruity Etonian English. We can make Winston’s stirring speech come off pale and milky and can fling the Wren & Martin grammar book at any native English speaker (since writing is not their forte) with aplomb and destroy them with a deep dissertation on past participles and ‘clause’ analyses, parts of the language that have no relation to the fat man coming down the chimney once each year. We can even imitate cockney and Geordie and at a pinch go American or Aussie on the world.

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Why do you have to send those awful WhatsApp forwards?

By Bikram Vohra

am all for placid. And turning the other cheek and avoiding violence and thinking happy thoughts but talking about turning, if anything turns my stomach it is these gratuitous forwards that come on WhatsApp, sloshing about with the milk of human kindness and soaked with sticky sweet sentiment. Who are these people who think this is the way to live: get beaten, be trampled, let them throw you under the bus, don’t fight back, let the sun wash over you, don’t be provoked even if they place a burr under your saddle. Relax, don’t get tense, life is an echo — it all comes back, the good, the false and the true, so give the world the best you have and the best will come back to you… really, really, I mean reallllly!!!

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